Some science to help in this time of confusion: “You can’t change someone’s mind, they have to change it for themselves” is a lie. Despite this stubborn belief, we are genetically social creatures. It’s a leading psychological theory (Haidt’s Social Intuitionism) that people overwhelmingly change their minds because of outside influence. It's very rare that isolated internal reasoning (private reflection) is the impetus for any person changing their mind. When a person changes their mind because of “their own experience” - "their own experience" simply means their interactions with other people. This does not mean that we are gullible, or easily manipulated, it's just how our brains work.
More specifically: our intuitions become our judgements which become our reasoning. It is very rare that our own reasoning can circle back and change our own intuitions (private reflection) - but other people's judgements and reasoning (particularly people in a group we admire) often DO change our very core intuitions. That sets off a chain reaction which eventually changes our judgements and our reasoning (social persuasion and reasoned persuasion). In short - we all change our minds because of coercion by some outside force. So be a good (anti-racist) outside force to others. Always.